With Halloween just around the corner, thoughts have started to turn to fancy dress. Obviously. Neither has it escaped notice that quite a few current ‘fashion’ trends are merely permutations of traditional fancy dress themes, particularly evident when one takes a look at our 21st century bright young things – the Hip And Trendies, or ‘HATs’ as I’m going to call them. You know the sort – pushing the fashion envelope so far you wonder if it’s even on the fashion table any more or whether it has fallen on to the floor.
Top HAT Example 1: Jaime Winstone aka Porkpie
Clearly taking inspiration from perennial fancy dress favourite Minnie Mouse, Jaime chooses to accessorise her nice pink silk dress with an oversized bow. One wonders if, out of shot, she is wearing enormous white gloves too.
Lily wasn't impressed by Jaime's interpretation of the dress code. Cartoon couture
Top HAT Example 2: Agyness Deyn aka Stovepipe
They say fashion goes in cycles and, judging by this outfit, Agyness thinks so too. The 80s is a popular theme for a fancy dress (I personally have won at least two 80s fancy dress competitions, thanks to an ace Eric Clapton T-shirt) but taking it to the streets is clearly a risky manoeuvre, as even the world’s current favourite supermodel ends up looking like an extra from Miami Vice.
Agy Says Relax
Hmm, a serial offender. Anchors aweigh, Miss Deyn! Nautical has been a key trend over the last couple of seasons, but one wonders if perhaps she has taken it a tad too far. Teaming a fetching crocheted sweater vest with a jaunty and voluminous leather cap, all in a lovely shade of puce, Agy has an air of “seaman off duty” about her – perfect for a pirate-themed party!
Make her walk the plank.
Top HAT Example 3: Patrick Wolf aka Beaver
Who doesn’t like School Disco?! Well, me, probably you, probably most people, but Patrick certainly seems to be a fan. Maybe he’s trying to ingratiate himself with the venues that he might one day be playing at when the flame of the polysexual ‘It’ crowd burns itself out.
Must try harder. See me after class.
Hopefully, this will serve as a staunch reminder that the only HAT suitable for Halloween is black and pointy, preferably with fake hair attached.