Would you ever wear?

In January things can get a little heavy. The snow has stirred up some post-Christmas stress, everyone feels calorie dense, the resolutions didn’t really ever get going and it’s still really cold. So what we all need is a healthy dose of light entertainment, and I’m not talking charades. Let’s play a game of ‘would you ever wear?’ It’ll get the hearty laughs going (which by the way is a great form of cardiovascular exercise aiding the production of toned abs. See, you didn’t need to go to the gym).

Scenario Number One:
It’s a cold morning and you’re late for work, you’re not looking forward to the long commute into the city, so whilst eating breakfast you decide to wear something that will make you feel happy and cheerful, in spite of the Monday blues. You wander over to the wardrobe: do you get out a red sweater (happy colour), those patterned tights (bit of jazz), or, would you ever wear………….

Woof Woof

A Gimzo skirt in grey tweed with ‘ear-pockets’ and swarovski crystal eyes by Brian Lichtenberg?
It’s only $2,100, cheaps and cheerful. They’d love it at the office.

Scenario Number Two:
Your best friends have just moved into a new flat and invited you over for a casual dinner. The only problem is that they haven’t had chance to buy crockery yet, so it’s a ‘ bring your own plate’ deal. You haven’t done the washing up in days and can’t find a clean plate, and to make things worse you’re on the last minute. What would you do? And more importantly, would you consider wearing……

Chink, Chink

The Porcelain dress by Chinese artist Li Xiaofeng?
You wouldn’t need to find a plate, and the partial shorts effect around the thigh area is particularly attractive.

Scenario Number Three:
You have a romantic date organized with someone who you’re out to impress, but unfortunately its been a very bad hair day. The hair can’t be tamed with all the brushes and oils of Persia, and you know how important nice hair is in a date context. You need to find something to wear which will detract attention away from your mane, perhaps even some form of total head covering? But, would you wear…………….

Bad hair day?

The giant, black, feathered egg dress by Giles Deacon?
It would leave an impression for sure, and the hair issue would no longer be an issue. So, would you?

[And last but not least]
Scenario Number Four:
A rainy day, your nephew’s fourth birthday party, a trip to the farm wearing animal costumes. You have been assigned the role of child watch assistant, but you must adhere to the strict fancy-dress code, however, you still want to look stylish and chic (you never know, there could be model scouts there). Would you swap face paint and a makeshift tail for……………….

Clip-Clop

Alexander McQueen‘s very reptilian, hoof-style “armadillo” shoes?
You would walk like a panther, and probably howl in pain when walking (maybe a bit like a wolfhound) – but on second thoughts, that might scare the little ones…in fact, I think they’re going to give me nightmares.

Looks like the Gimzo skirt is the least offensive after all, I’d better start saving up.

Happy January!